Beneath the sheets
I found out why you
push the static downfall
away from your thighs
that used to feel like stars
clinging to your heart.
I listened patiently til
my heart scraped ions
lost their charge.
This was a simultaneous
account where your history
caught you in a sling
causing you to feel visions
on loneliness, pain and heartache.
I will always question
the opinions of those who are
just soo sure of the cause and
effect. I'd like to affect you
in a perpetual escapade that
would cause your heart to
flutter every time your eyes
casually glance at me.
My songs do not cause
an emotional response
to your lingering permissive
stance, your judgemental
truths that set your feet in
concrete, leaving your fingers
pointing instead of in an
unclasped position of the hand.
I have given more than
I thought I had in my
checking and savings.
I borrowed from the past,
saying that it would be
worth more than pocket
change in our future.
I believed this.
I'd like to remember the good.
I want to cry when I think
that I may have given
the best songs to you
with the most complicated,
expressive chord structures
and you have had head phones
on this whole time.
I am scared of losing
this present state of safety.
I am afraid that stability
in its most banal sense of
security will fall away
like the floor on a spinning
carnival ride.
There is an intelligent spiral
urging me to be patient
and bold in one motion.
There has been arguable temptation
but I am larger than the eyes
that peer out from the basement steps.
With every direct communicative
pattern of the last month
we have inadvertently taken
strides forward. Your eyes still
tear me and paste me and mold my
infrastructure but I find myself
collaged in pieces that abstain
my needs from seeing the sun.
If everything that happens
happens because their is some divine
plan, then make it easier to say
yes to myself.
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