This is the year of the sacred goddess
although every day is a day to tap
into the feminine if I can let it in.
There is a violence that is fighting the enlightenment.
The spin of the Yin and the centrifuge of the Yang
are always in the a revolution, a centrifuge of exact opposites.
There's a need to hold onto the geodes and crystals
with your face on the wet soil and a yearning
to let go of all of your possessions, pack up
your heart and fly into the arms of the unknown.
Is it like this for everyone?
Are there generations of people who are manically
changing their minds and acting on it?
Does stability elude them?
Do we all share pieces of them in our dreams and allusions?
There are days like yesterday when you wake up and the sound
in your eyes rumbles your tongue, the lips of your gums
spit out words that derive from the pit
of your ache and your brain is bypassed.
The people you once knew have changed from tadpoles
into frogs and the locomotion that was your life
is now a hum of highways sounds in the distance.
You search for your old clothes on days like yesterday
but they're on the backs of teens who bought them
from the thrift stores you emptied with your love on your arm.
You awaken with the knock of gun shots on your window.
This time they're not a sound of danger like two years ago
when you went to sleep hoping that the stray bullets
wouldn't graze your bed post. Now they represent a thunder
of boredom, a place where men go to release
tension and show off their biggest guns.
I hang prayer flags in the windows for the ones I've loved,
for the ones who have loved me more
than I have them and for the ones I will love in the future.
The ones who have died lie their ancient eyes
on me when I can't sleep, they blow the wind
with the windows closed and wave
the flags because I can't see their hands.
I say on days like yesterday that I am a light bearer
but I was quickly corrected by an elder
she said, child you are not a bearer of the flame
but you are the flame itself,
and so I burn
but I do not consume.
I grow but I do not take over
like a wildfire.
