Tuesday, December 21, 2010

mary ain't you tired of this

This unwelcome pang that crashes down
like a flightless bird falling from the Lazarus beacon,
rolling off the ball onto a ledge.
She told me once a series of lies to keep me
from making a new trail, to prevent a wild fire.
Those lies now beat me with a punch and a one-two slap.
Because no matter how much thick Vaseline I dab on my
cut up eye brow, I still wipe my sweat in my eyes and blind
myself every time.
I've been trying to do it her way these last few years,
playing songs that will please her mind and heart
but her body doesn't bounce like it used to.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

the little skeleton

She's been placed between double paned, scream proof glass
in front of the new park, constructed out of a need for nature
she needs nature to feel less like a stranger
she sees through the glass:
the sunlight at 9am, it molds around her shoulders
like a grandmotherly blanket on Winter break--
but there are no bologna sandwiches with cheese or games
like Kings in the Corner on lacquered table tops.

And as she looks for distractions to accelerate
the hands on the digital clock,
she hears the hummingbird tune that takes her to
those short December nights when she had a week
of female surprises. The sounds, smells and cold aches
flooded her again as she remembered the luscious lips,
lucid legs that wrapped around her neck, and the half lies
she told in the name of loneliness and love.

She was the coldest she had ever been that December.
Too many regrets that she now can't say out loud, she
has to hide what she really wants. She has to dream now
of the days when she taught wiley-eyed- smelly- fifth graders
about the rewards of respecting Nature, a lesson that was built
into their genetic code long before
they had glasses
and middle fingers.


Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Sailing Vessels

The thing that I used to crave
most
was my second hand music
created through my closed eyed bones,
and my own slippery hands.
Next came the lengthy desire for enlightenment,
any coloring book illusion could never be my pacifier,
I needed some satiation through the painful yet
empowering contraction of being alone.
Then out of the cave came ambition
which tied to sex neck marks
and detached partnership played the Les Paul.
The latter craving plays the hardest
on the teeter-totter, UP and DOWN
on the rusty balance beam.


My living notes played and written
were detailed analysis's through my bi-focal
like cataclysmic juices spraying from the
atom bomb, you felt them
first on your skin, it pushed at you from the breeze
and then came the heat that was cooked up
for the steaming masses.

My teeth have since shifted
and my diet differs now.
My hunger is still for patience since I fight and then
acquiesce. It's surely a tempting CGI effect
when my dreams play with my
eyes, pushing my lips to
create conflict and then to solve it.
Like I can just act like some robot
lacking a memory or a placated punching bag.

Fire It UP!!!
Figure It Out!!
Don't Fool Yourself!

I feel the shift.
Per usual, it's feet first
and on the boat that was once a raft.

Remember,
I have been in the woods alone.
You have been there too.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Rhetoric over our Doorstep

"My eyes are intense", she says
as I jolt my neck over my shoulder,
attempting to catch myself in
the shadow image that I at times recognize
as me.

"When I look at you, I don't see me."

As we position our eyebrows, we ask with our eyes,
"What is next in this aggrandized plan?"

With all of the many splendid ideas that transpose
their sheen on-top of our fiery house
We'd like to get lost on it's ventilation system,
"Can we establish an agreement?"
I say while I sort my curses from my compromises.

I suck in smoky air
through filtering hair
lean back
and exhale fear of the unknown.

She situates her hand under her chin
precisely in alignment with where
her legs meet over her knees

In her gaze I think to myself,
"My capacity for philia
has proven to be greater than
what I once chose to perceive.
I convinced myself that I knew
all of the rules.
She has given me new responsibility
thanks to the breadth of knowledge
I've gained in her presence."

She speaks with her head tilted toward summer and says,

"White crossroads can never find their exact center, they just flow together."

With a nod in respect,we understand through our visual contact.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

All in about 3,715,200 Seconds

In the last six weeks I've clenched my fists
twenty-seven times over the course of
crab eating :{} claws into my palm
as I crossed the scoliosis ridged Rockies
that Taurus twisted April afternoon

In the last 43 days I've released my fingers
and cracked joints from my alignment
with a fake crusader and have made bonds
with decisive strangers with witty dialog
Having constrained space in a locked SUV
just to pour ourselves into the Story Book of the ocean floor

On the dusty shoreline I saw the reflection
of the clouds (()) the oxygen of my past

When we deceive the world
we are called shepherds instead of liars
Why are we in love with serpent tongues
and by serpent I mean split in two
like a fork not a spoon

Over the last 1032 hours I understand
even more so than before
that Titles are pointless
when your blade is -->>>}]]dull
you leave a bloody trail behind you
if you take credit for all you're around

Because of the last 61,920 minutes I have accepted
the halogen glow scenery was printed in Sepia tone
on the finest paper my mind can afford

Monday, March 15, 2010

I'm enticed by the Fall Out

There's a punitive meaning
to the words
corrosive fall out.

I consider the frogs that
hop off of my tangled tongue
to be high-end merchandise
like I'm buying my civil rights
to a twenty-first century
free style, existential photograph
taken by myself.

Every mark ever made on paper, plastic, stone and wood
could never've been possible if
the Earth wasn't scavenged and then glued
on the hopeful lines
of engine faced infants.

Those calamity clad comrades of commerce
that proposed a common purpose
for angry anglos who
took staples from the natives,
altering apples and allowing
insects to make wastelands.
These men
and women
are guilty.

Their judges are the books
of known history,
those with scarred backs
and torn pages,
whose knowledge is nettled
in the lava flows from the Eocene
that developed the illustrious islands
of our fluted ancestors.

Our instinctual sense of good and bad governance,
was not created through past seeds of humanity
on the African grassland
but on the backs of slaves
and the creation of currency.
Our break in communication with Nature,
when the balanced procession
of feminine and masculine
began a tip-toed introduction
of what is said to be a distorted reality
where hundreds of thieves rule billions of disasters.

and the arrogant extortion of children and women
are an accepted taboo in the most civilized nations

We could have freedom from these atrocities
if we were to accept what's audible and apparent,
the desperations of the world allude to be our focus
but are evidently our barricaded distractions.

We are a hemispheric world ruled by the brains'
addiction to dopamine and serotonin.
I fill these needs through
love and cigarettes,
thought and action,
communities and distant connections.
Breathe my brain tells my lungs,
Breathe.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

yellow eyes

you once told me that i was the most beautiful woman in the entire world
and i believed you.
you once convinced me that you desired me,
that you would enjoy worshipping my body,
giving me pleasure on an hourly basis.
we had this once.
now it's a memory in my heart, like a golden moon
now turned blue and green and leaves stains
where it once used to lay.

yeah, i think it's time to finally admit that we
can't keep going on in this sexless way.

i've mourned for over a year now,
and in order to try and save things,
you teased me a few weeks ago
but darling, you can't fake passion.
you can tell me one thing but
when you do another, it tells me
the truth.
i hold the ace of swords and can smell
injustice when it sits
like 2 month old garbage in the basement
i see the truth too
because my eyes are like those
of the great horned owls..
i see with yellow vision
a mouse like the issue of fulfilment
that plays over a mile in the distance
i must fly out silently and grab it